Choose A Christian Wife or Husband!

A woman with strong character is a crown to her husband,
but a shameful woman is like rot in his bones.
Proverbs 12:4




Dr. Andrew Steinmann in his excellent new Commentary on Proverbs remarks on this passage: "In the context here it is probably intended more as advice to a young man in choosing a wife than as advice to women as to which course to choose in life. (A shameful woman probably would not worry about the effect of her actions on her husband, so this proverb would not be meaningful to her.) However, it can instruct both the Christian man who is looking for a wife and a Christian woman who desires to enter into a successful marriage."

So what does it mean, this woman of "strong character?" From the other two places it is used in the Old Testament (Ruth 3:11; Proverbs 31:10) we can say that it refers to this woman having faith in the triune God and His salvation in Christ Jesus crucified for her sins.

Thus, the young man here in Proverbs 12 is wise to look for a woman with a strong Christian faith as he has, and likewise this would apply to the woman's search for a Christian man. But is this high on the list of young people today of things they desire in a spouse? It should be at the top, for everything else pales in comparison!

The apostle admonishes them to "not be unequally yoked" (2 Corinthians 6:14), i.e. not to be married to someone who doesn't share the same faith and worldview as they do when entering into marriage. This certainly supports what this proverb is proclaiming, that those wishing to enter into God pleasing marriage have this oneness in Christian faith high on list, if not at the very top. For when they do, they know that God will truly bless this marriage to their mutual joy and to His glory!